John 11: 35
35 Jesus wept.
All of us eventually come to a point in our lives where something happens that just guts us. It hollows you out and leaves unable to do anything but to weep in great sorrow. For me, it was not so long ago. In April of 2018 I went in for a prenatal checkup, and found out my fourth child, Baby Sam, had died at six weeks gestation. This hollowed me out and I was barely able to contain my tears until I reached the van. I wept that day. The grief overcame me and took over everything. I had already begun to imagine life with the new addition and how I was going to mother 4 kids instead of 3. I wasn’t the only one in my family who was overcome with grief.
My husband fell apart and wept. My children, we had only recently shared the news because I began to show also began to sob. They had been so excited for another new baby. A silence befell our house that day. An eerie deafening silence as we all retreated to our rooms and wept. Although we were all under the same roof, we all felt very alone. We all wept.
This is okay. If you yourself are going through something, it is okay to put life on hold and weep. Jesus himself did in the verse mentioned above. Even during this holiday season, it is okay to pause from all the merriment and to weep. Maybe this isn’t your time to make merry, but instead to grieve whatever it is you need to grieve. Find a place, weep, mourn, ask God for comfort, and when you are ready take the first step forward.
Lord, help me through this time of sorrow. I don’t have much to say right now. All I can say is I feel broken and like my world has been turned upside down. Just be with me and give me comfort during this difficult time. In your name. Amen.