Marriage is a wonderful thing and it has its ups and downs. Marriage is a bit like a roller coaster even in the healthiest of marriages. So when one of you has epilepsy it can make that roller coaster a little more rough at times. When epilepsy is brought into a marriage it comes with its own sets of challenges and it can take time for both people to adjust the new hurdles it has brought with it. So to make navigating this journey a little easier here my 5 tips to healthy marriage when one of you has epilepsy.
Tip 1: Have A Plan for Seizure Days
Marriage can be difficult to navigate without the occasional bad day with seizures so to help things to go more smoothly it is wise to have a plan in place. You never know when a seizure will strike and when one does you both need to be prepared. It would be a good idea to sit down together and put together some sort of plan for those bad days. You may want to include talking to their doctor as part of coming up with this plan. The doctor may have a few things you need to consider when you put together such a plan.
Tip 2: Be Patient and Graceful When Medication Side effects Become an Issue…
When you are married or in a serious relationship with someone with epilepsy it is important to understand that the side effects of medication can be worse than seizures themselves. The above video while telling you about the general side effects doesn’t really do a good job talking about how difficult these side effects can be for the person taking them.
When they say fatigue or larthagy I think of those times I would sleep for 72 hours after taking a new medication. When they say you might be a little dizzy I think of all those times I went to school looking like a drunk because I couldn’t walk straight I was so dizzy. When they say you might be depressed I think of all the times I was suicidal because I was hopping from one medication to another trying to find one that actually worked.
The person you care about will need your support as they search for a medication that works. They will need you to be understanding when that medicine keeps them in bed all day. They will need you to forgive them when suddenly that new medicine makes their mood unstable and suddenly they are angry or sad all the time. They need your grace and understanding and most of all they need you in their corner through the crap of it all.
Tip 3: Stay Educated On Epilepsy
When it comes to epilepsy there is still a lot that is not known about it. Brain research is severely underfunded so progress seems to be taking its time, but it’s something you should try and keep up on if you plan on being in a relationship with someone with epilepsy. Staying updated on the latest info can help you properly support your loved one. Some ideas for doing so:
Tip 4: Find Your Own Support Circle
When we are responsible for caring for someone it can be easy to forget that we too need support. Taking on the role of caregiver is hard and finding support can help you get through the tough times. It can be a great relief to talk to someone who you can trust about your struggles. A good support person or group won’t judge and maybe able to provide insight that could help improve your situation.
Tip 5: Never Forget What You Love About Them.
When you and your partner are having a bad day, remember why you love them. Is it their smile on a cloudy day? Is it the way say good morning each day? It is because no matter how crappy your day they can make you smile?
Any marriage will have its ups and downs. Any marriage has its share of sickness and health. What will help you two to stay together is whether or not you remember the little things and why you love them in the first place.
Leave your tips to a healthy marriage below in the comments. For more tips on supporting your loved one check my post about supporting someone with epilepsy!